right or kind

being too honest to someone— can be a backfire. you tell the truth, say things as they are, maybe even with the best intentions...  and still, people get hurt.  sometimes deeply. and sometimes, their reaction can go way too far— like doing things that end up hurting you back.  *** earlier today, my aunt called me,  and told something kinda stuck: that being too honest, too open, and too confident— is not always a good thing. especially for women. and especially, for those who live alone.  at first it sounded like she was telling me  to hold back who i am.  but she wasn't saying it in a bitter or cynical way. more like..wise.  like someone who's been through enough to know that this world doesn't always reward people who speak the truth plainly.  (plus, my aunt loves reading agatha christie novels,  and reading several criminal news) and the more i sat with it, the more i realized: she's not wrong. sometimes, not saying everything is actu...

lately, i’ve found myself doing this more and more—without fully conscious in what area i am when i did it: imagine a venn diagram where right and kind intersect, and i’m fully in the right zone (including the intersected part). i've been doing this to almost everyone i’ve met recently. to uncle, aunt, mom, dad, colleague, friend—also to people like nurses and doctors (since my dad’s been sick lately). i just… speak up. i say what i really think. maybe sometimes it’s kind, sometimes it’s not. and maybe it’s not always the kindest thing too. but it’s the truth. and strangely, it feels good. there’s something freeing about saying what needs to be said—even when it’s uncomfortable. even when it doesn’t land softly. *** but today, I tried something different. i consciously chose to be kind, without voicing what i truly thought—words that i knew were right, but possibly hurtful. i choose kindness over honesty. and to my surprise, it was easy. much easier than standing firm in the truth....